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“I hate school.”

It was a simple motto. I shared it with a few of my close friends, and we used it as often as we could manage. In eleventh grade English class, we had to write a collection of poems, each in a different form. In typical melodramatic fashion, I called mine Ode to Alcatraz;  each and every poem was about the mindless prison that I perceived school to be. I can hear Miss Davidson’s voice even now: “Tucker, you’re killin’ me.”

For years, both while I was breezing through high school and while I was dragging myself through college, my parents told me that I would miss education, and that I would want to pursue my education beyond my undergraduate studies, to the Masters and Ph.D levels. They thought I would be in school much of my life. I scoffed sardonically at this preposterous suggestion; as soon as I was done with school, I was done with school.

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October 18, 2011 · 1 comment

When I was a sophomore in high school, there was much about me that I realized I didn’t like. In response to this realization, I made a critical decision that had a profound effect on the person I am, even to this day.

I decided that that’s just the way I am is a horrible, terrible excuse, and it’s not good enough. Correspondingly, I decided that I ought to have much more control over who and how I am than most people seem to want to recognize. I decided that I ought to be able to decide who I want to be, and be that person.
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October 15, 2011 · 1 comment

My favorite English teacher, Miss O, has given me a new exercise (the first homework I’ve received from her in some nine years), and it is that one writing assignment that I always hated: journaling. I’m fairly certain it’s the first time she ever gave me such an assignment. So I’ve decided to start this off the way I always dealt with both journaling and free-writing exercises in middle and high school: by writing about the assignment itself.

Hey, at least I’m not writing about how much I hate the assignment.

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October 14, 2011 · 2 comments

The Problem of Evil is a philosophical question that goes something like this:

If God is omnibenevolent (fully good), omnipotent (all powerful) and omniscient (all knowing), why does evil exist?

Put differently, the problem asks how a good God, fully aware of every evil and fully capable of preventing it, could allow evil to exist.

To answer this question, philosophers and theologians have taken a variety of approaches, leading to a field of study known as theodicy, which specifically attempts to explain and/or prove how a God with these three qualities can coexist with a world rife with evil. However, in thinking about it, I can’t help wondering if we’re not getting ahead of ourselves by posing the question in this way.

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September 22, 2011 · 4 comments

In late 2006, I left the church, disillusioned with the self-centered nature of the Christian experience and the church’s near inability to reach out to those beyond its own walls. For a brief period, I was part of a local iteration of the Emergent Church movement, though that was short lived, as the group I was a part of were interested in a kind of faith experience that did not appeal to me.

Around the same time, something happened that raised in my mind a number of questions that I considered very serious, which completely shook my world and threatened tremendous possible ramifications for my faith as a Christian. A series of unexpected sources of inspiration, confusion, and clarity took me on a journey filled with numerous difficult questions, considerable doubt, ample inaction, and far too much wasted time. I questioned Christianity at a level more basic than I had ever before thought I would, and as my old roommate Dave recently said to me, “I tell you, if you’ve never had to question even the most basic tenets of Christianity, it can be brutal. Really brutal.” Dave was unequivocally correct.

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October 11, 2009 · Comment